How to spot, and help stop loneliness in Cheadle this Christmas

Christmas will be a strange one this year, not just for us in Cheadle, but up and down the country, as we reflect on the worst year in most of our lifetimes.

Hopefully, you one of the lucky ones, scrabbling to work out which family members will be in your three family bubble? Unless this changes again!  But as you tuck into your turkey, pop a few crackers, and enjoy a tipple and some laughs with those you love, a few steps away there will be someone whose festive period will not be so joyous.  For the lonely, it is just another day, a day of the same four walls, of zero conversations and an emptiness that can often be hard on that person’s mental wellbeing.  At Maurice Kilbride we are here for all of our community especially during these challenging times, and the thought of one of our own feeling alone is hard.  Which is why, if this article can help just one person, it was worth writing it.

How to spot the physical symptoms of loneliness

We might all experience an overwhelming sense of loneliness at some point in our lives. It could be for a reason as simple as living alone for the first time, moving to a new town, or a relationship breakdown, or even the impact of a pandemic.  It doesn’t just affect your mental health but your physical health too, and you could suffer from social anxiety and depression.

Due to the stress caused when you’re feeling alone, you could develop high blood pressure.  It is estimated that the effect of living with loneliness is equivalent to smoking a pack of cigarettes every day, increasing your risk of any earlier death quite considerably.

You also need to acknowledge that there may be an issue if your sleep is disrupted, such as waking up several times in the night, which is common when you are feeling sad.  Loneliness can cause you to withdraw from others; instead of reaching out, you hibernate in your own bubble and as such start to strip aware at your confidence and self-esteem.

It isn’t just withdrawing from the outside world, loneliness can even stop you venturing out to exercise, the one thing you can do that is a great support for both your mental and physical health. The more sedentary you become, the more likely healthy eating may go down the drain too.

If you start to spot any of these signs in yourself, or in others, what can you do to ease the despair?

Be honest

It’s easy to lie to ourselves, even if we know deep down how we feel. The first and often the hardest step is to admit it.  Be honest, not just to yourself but to someone else too if possible. One thing this pandemic has done is bring communities closer together.  We care about our neighbours and we want to help those who may need a conversation or just a bag of sugar.  There will no doubt be many people in Cheadle feeling just as confused and isolated as you are at the moment, maybe you can help each other?

You may not be able to see your family and friends as you would normally this year, which can bring on a sense of being alone, something you may not have felt before.  Talk to those you are close to, and even those you’re not.  As difficult as it is, you have taken the bravest step in being able to say the words, “I’m feeling lonely”.

Take a trip down memory lane

Life takes us all in different directions, we grow, move on, move away and lose touch.  Friends from school, from your home town or village, or a previous job, may now just be connections on Facebook. Yet just by reaching out with a message as simple as “Merry Christmas”, you are opening the door to reconnecting.  Receiving a message from someone who you have not spoken to for a long time can be a wonderful thing, and who knows, one message could lead to several, and a friendship could be rekindled.

Get out!

It’s cold, it’s wet, and snuggled in front of your fire with your PJs on, the last thing you want to do is step outside or, worse still, exercise.  But this is exactly what you need right now: exercise energises you and releases endorphins that lift your mood and can help with depression.  So wrap up warm, and set yourself a challenge, walk for a set amount of time, or run to a certain location.  And when you feel that wind biting your cheeks, the rain running down your face, close your eyes and take a deep breath, because this is nature telling you how good it is to be alive.

Devour the pages

You may be on your own, but that doesn’t mean you have to be lonely – there is much to be said for getting lost in a good book.  Being taken to a different land, a place in time, discovering new characters -all this can make you eager to turn the page, prompting you to stay awake later than you should, because you need to know what happens next.  A good book can bring joy, laughter, and tears but best of all, provide a distraction from the real world for a while.

Be present

If you’re one of the lucky ones, keep an eye on those around you.  Has someone faded into the background? Is there a neighbour you’ve not seen for a while? We know that things have to be done safely, but find a way of reaching out and staying in touch – your small act of kindness could completely change someone’s Christmas for the better.

From everyone at Maurice Kilbride together we can help stop loneliness in Cheadle this Christmas.